|
Now Blended
Families have a Symbol
of their Love and Commitment
(ARA) - At
least one-third of all new marriages in the U.S.
involve divorced or widowed parents with
children under 18 living in the home, according
to the Stepfamily Association of America. Even
as blended families become more common, parents
in these families struggle with ways to ease the
concerns of children who feel, on a conscious or
unconscious level, that their secure place in
the family is threatened by the pending
remarriage of a parent.
Many couples are finding that they can start
their new lives with a strong commitment to
their blended families with a family-oriented
wedding service that gives children a meaningful
role in the nuptials. This five-minute ceremony
-- known as the Family Medallion service -- can
easily be integrated into any religious or civil
wedding ceremony. It differs from the
traditional wedding in only one respect: After
the newlyweds exchange rings, their children
join them for a special service focusing on the
family nature of remarriage. Each child is given
a gold or silver Family Medallion with three
interlocking circles, a symbol that represents
family love in much the same way the wedding
ring signifies conjugal love.
Holly Powers and Paul Bousquet incorporated the
Family Medallion service into their ceremony by
adapting it beyond the formal commitment to love
and protect all the children either spouse
brought to the marriage. "We used language that
emphasized the challenges of building a life
together," says Holly. This included
acknowledging that it would take time to adjust
to the new family unit and that to succeed they
must constantly communicate and foster trust and
intimacy by doing things together as a family.
Holly says that she and Paul will never forget
the moment during their wedding when her
children from her first marriage were summoned
to their sides to participate in the family
wedding service. While the justice of the peace
recited the words of the ceremony that Holly had
so carefully crafted, Holly and Paul placed the
Family Medallions around the necks of Emily and
Michael. Emily -- and most of the guests at the
wedding -- was moved to tears.
"A marriage involving children is a lot more
than simply the union of a man and a woman -- it
is a merging of two separate families," says Dr.
Roger Coleman, chaplain of Pilgrim Chapel in
Kansas City, Mo., who developed the Family
Medallion and the family ceremony that goes with
it. "Every day of my ministry I see how divorce
creates a sense of failure and hopelessness in
people. The family ceremony is a sign of hope
and an important step in rebuilding broken
families."
Today, more than 15,000 couples a year --
primarily in the United States, Canada and
Europe -- use the Family Medallion ceremony to
help cement the bond between parents,
stepparents and children. "Ignoring the vital
role that children play in remarriage is a setup
for a dysfunctional family situation and
possibly even a second divorce," says
Christopher Vender, director of Catholic
Ministries of California in Thousand Oaks, who
has used the Family Medallion wedding service on
several occasions.
Holly and Paul believe that their decision to
recognize and honor Emily and Michael during
their wedding will permanently strengthen their
family bond. "Both Michael and Emily will always
have the medallions as a tangible symbol of our
family love," she says.
The Family Medallion is available in the form of
a pendant, ring, key ring or lapel pin.
Additional information about the Family
Medallion Wedding Service may be found online at
www.familymedallion.com; by calling Clergy
Services, Inc. at (800) 237-1922; or by writing
to PO Box 32333, Kansas City, Mo., 64171.
Courtesy of ARA Content |
